Sunday, August 18, 2013


You sent me a card a few weeks ago before Ry's birthday, there was limited contact when I texted you back

I sent you a card last week before Anne's birthday, there was more contact when you texted me back

I got the job
I am moving
I am going to tell you
the question is when...

I have already said that I don't know what the future holds....

Saturday, August 3, 2013


I've applied for a job in Sydney...
I am feeling confident...
I wish it had come up a few months ago, things may have been different...

But as I always said me moving was about ME, you were a bonus.

Friday, July 26, 2013


Today I was given an envelope that had been delivered to work, one look and all I saw was your handwriting.... I don't know how I felt, my breath caught and my heart skipped a beat... I was surprised and even after everything that has happened you have an affect on me.

Opening the envelope I discovered a card...

Printed on the card...  Thinking of you... Like I always do

You added... But particularly at this difficult time. My thoughts are truly with you today ... xox M

Thank you, it means a lot that you have made the effort... I thanked you in a text, I wanted to ring you but I didn't think it best... I miss you and calling I don't think would be a good idea.

Maybe soon I will ring or maybe I won't...

I have let you go, I no longer have thoughts of US, not to say that I don't miss US but I know that it is unlikely to happen... I won't say never but I will say there is a lot of re-building to get a friendship back let alone anything else, the card was a first step...

We never know what the future holds though....

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Different aspects

I was away on the weekend, I went exploring, walking through wildness just me and my camera and my thoughts turned to you... it is only in the last few months that we did things like that. We went to the zoo, a walk over the rocks at Bondi... most of our times were spent alone and inside, the few times we ventured out I did enjoy.

I believe that we could have had it all...
a relationship that was amazing when we were alone but also when we were in a crowd or with friends.
a relationship where we knew almost everything about each other, sides that we had hidden from many others in our lives.
a relationship that continued to grow.

I still believe that is what we had but it did involve taking a chance and you were not ready to take that chance.

You are a special man, I know because I saw so many different aspects of you and though they are all different, they are all special. I also know that many of those aspects were not known to most people in your life... I hope that you find or have found someone that you allow to see all aspects, don't settle for less

 I hope to find it myself one day but it will take time to trust again... I do wish that we could have had it but it is not to be...

Monday, July 22, 2013


“The rain to the wind said,
You push and I'll pelt.'
They so smote the garden bed
That the flowers actually knelt,
And lay lodged--though not dead.
I know how the flowers felt.”
― Robert Frost

Friday, July 19, 2013




1.Strong and barely controllable emotion.

2.A state or outburst of such emotion

Our relationship was full of passion and I am glad of that... unfortunately the end of our relationship was full of passion, even though you say it just cemented your decision I do not regret that either.   The passion that we shared was special and I thank you for that. I do hope that I am able to experience that level of passion again

Monday, July 15, 2013

Bad day

Bad day and I could do with a hug...
The fact that I can't get one from you just makes it worse